Election Day

Today was a crappy Election Day and I'm going to tell you why! First of all, it was rainy and damp and cold. Being a dedicated American, I trudged to the polling place and stood behind a bald man until it was my time to vote. I got inside the little booth and guess what? My name was nowhere to be found. I wasn't on the ballot! Not even for Best Dressed. In fact, there wasn't even a Best Dressed category. What kind of election is this?