Holidays, von Klapp Style!

Tomorrow, Manhattan will be buzzing as the annual von Klapp Holiday Party is held at my parents' luxurious apartment. When my father, Basil von Klapp, was a boy growing up in Austria his parents would invite their neighbors over for a huge holiday party every year. My father continued this tradition after moving to America and starting his own family. Of course, running a successful adult diaper and incontinence product manufacturing business means that our parties are far more glamorous than the little get-togethers that Grandmother von Klapp hosted years ago. I will report to you all of the juicy details of this year's party on Monday. Until then, have a fabulous weekend!

Real Hero Thursday

Five more US servicemen died since last week's Real Hero Thursday. The latest to be confirmed is Pvt Isaac T. Cortes, of Brooklyn, NY.

Pvt Cortez died November. 27 in Amerli, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device.

Pv. Cortez was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 71st Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

He was 26 years old.

New Boyfriend Wednesday

In keeping with my Dancing with the Stars euphoria, I hereby nominate the sexy Maksim Chmerkovskiy for the honor of this week's New Boyfriend. Maks is one of the professional dancers on Dancing withe the Stars. He's 27, single, and was born in Russia.

Dancing with the Stars: And the Winner Is...

Congratulations to.... HELIO AND JULIANNE!!

But Maksim is still hotter. My mom is gloating. She picked them from the beginning. My father is wondering what Marie is going to do after the show. Lunesta is still passed out.

Dancing with the Stars: 10:45pm

Helio and Julianne do the quick step for their last dance. They are OK. I don't dislike Helio, he's just not as hunky as Maksim. My mother insists he will win. My father still doesn't understand how Marie got the boot. Lunesta is passed out on the couch.

The judges score: a perfect 30.

Who will win? Who will lose?

Dancing with the Stars: 10:30pm

Mel and Maksim do the mambo for their last dance. The judges love it. I love it. I love Maksim. I want him to love me, too!

The judges score: a perfect 30!!

GO MEL AND MAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dancing with the Stars: 10:15

Celine has crawled out of her sarcophagus to sing her new "hit" against a video montage of this season's "most emotional highlights." I left a voice mail for my agent. If he couldn't get me on "Celebrity Apprentice" at least he can get me on the next season of "Dancing with the Stars." And I want Maksim to be my partner!

Dancing with the Stars: 10pm

They are still bringing out the kicked-off stars to dance one last time. They are up to Jane Seymour. I want to be that pretty when I'm 70. My father said that Jane was a former Bond Girl. Lunesta is on her fifth Vodka and Cranberry. Or is Cranberry and Vodka? Does it matter? We have another hour until we find out who wins!

Dancing with the Stars: 9:30pm

More clips from earlier in the season. Now, they are bringing back the contestants who were voted off, one by one. This show is going to be longer than my Christmas list.

Dancing with the Stars: 9:15pm

MARIE IS TOAST!!!!!!!!!! GO MEL AND MAKS!!! My father said the show is rigged. My mother still thinks Helio is going to win. Lunesta is on her third Cranberry and Vodka.

Dancing with the Stars: 9:10pm

Ten minutes into the show and they've dug up Celine Dion to sing about the shipwreck. I'm gulping down Lunesta's vodka to get me through this.

Dancing with the Stars: 9pm

The von Klapp family has gathered around my 52 inch HDTV to watch the season finale of Dancing with the Stars! Tom and Samantha look so excited! My father, Basil von Klapp, thinks Marie is a shoo-in. I personally don't enjoy Marie. She's far too "cute" for my liking. I like Mel B. Well, I don't really like her, but I adore her dance partner, Maksim. He's so hot! My mother Clarice is hoping Helio wins. And my sister Lunesta doesn't really have an opinion. It's only five minutes after 9:00 and she's already drunk.

They are showing clips from last night. I just realized its only 9:06 and they won't announce the winner until 10:59. This is going to be a long night. I wonder what Lunesta is drinking?

LIVE Blogging During the Dancing with the Stars Finale!

Join the entire von Klapp family tonight as we gather to watch the season finale of "Dancing with the Stars." I will be blogging LIVE from my penthouse in Manhattan, along with my dowdy sister Lunesta and my parents, Basil and Clarice. Please join us starting at 9:00 pm Eastern time! Beware my West Coast friends: you'll know the winners three hours in advance!

Dancing with the Stars Finale: Part 1

VOTE FOR MEL & MAKSIM!!!

1-800-868-3405

AT&T CUSTOMERS TEXT "VOTE" TO 3405!

My Favorite Things 2007

Earlier this week Oprah Winfrey aired her "Oprah's Favorite Things for 2007" episode. In honor of that, I have compiled a list of MY favorite things. Without further ado and in no particular order, I give you the first annual list of "Cymbalta von Klapp's Favorite Things."

Sony Vaio
Josh Groban's "Noel" CD
Apple iTouch
"Hairspray" DVD

Happy Thanksgiving

Real Hero Thursday

14 more US troops were killed since last week's Real Hero Thursday.

The latest to be confirmed is Staff Sgt. Alejandro Ayala of Riverside, CA. Sgt Ayala died November 18th of injuries sustained as a result of a vehicle accident in Kuwait. He was assigned to the 90th Logistics Readiness Squadron, F.E. Warren Air Force Base, Wyo. Alejandro Ayala was 26 years old.

3,873 US military members have died since the start of the war in Iraq.

New Boyfriend Wednesday

Has anyone ever looked at Wentworth Miller and not fallen in love? He's handsome, he's a talented actor, and his voice is almost hypnotic. You might know him from "Prison Break", but I will always remember him as Adam Rothchild Ryan on the much-missed TV series "Popular." So on this day before Thanksgiving, I would like to nominate Mr. Wentworth Miller as my New Boyfriend of the Week!